Fetish (adult)

[CRNDLSM]

My first thread, woohoo! So why not immediately start of with a NSFW poem  ><
I'm critiquing this after reading your explanations of everything, feel like there's not much I have to offer but maybe a suggestion or two.

Version 1.1

FETISH

Flaccid bones and flesh
sealed tight within stretched skin;
clawing up blood and
reaching for mangled dreams
tangled in visions of ecstacy and
leering eyes. I notice a whole lot of back and forth -ing and -ed words.  Like starting and stopping a whole bunch it turns into a sort of pulse which I think enhances the sexual energy.  That in mind, these don't really read like sentences to me and would like this period to just be open space.  Like holding a gasp
                   Inflicting pleasure unto
unblemished skin to force into inflicting pleasure unto unblemished skin is the obvious part of this poem repeated with childhood innocence later, and I think you could start this stanza with 'forcing into reality, and bathing in the stain of' just as effectively
reality, and bathe in the staining
release of, venomous obsessions;
harvested from a fading childhood
and wicked whispers of innocence restrained
by moist leather, exotic rope
and love without mercy;
distilling rapture from pain.

-no thought can turn back time your comments about this ending (which I appreciate as is no punctuation change) make me think your goal of this poem is to be the trigger that sends readers down the rabbit hole,  they now have thought about something they can't unthink. 
no time can turn back thought-

To keep an objective view and allow readers to form their own judgements about the subject seems difficult with so many possible adjectives and verbs but I think you accomplished it
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FIRST VERSION

FETISH

Flaccid bones and tense flesh
tightly sealed in stretched
skin; heaving and writhing.
Clawing up blood and feverishly
reaching for mangled dreams
tangled in visions of ecstasy and
sensual shame.
                      Inflicting pleasure unto
unblemished skin to force into
reality, and bathe in the staining
release of, ungodly obsessions;
harvested from a fading childhood
and wicked whispers of innocence tied down.
by moist leather, exotic rope
and love without mercy;
distilling rapture from pain.

-no thought can turn back time
no time can turn back thought-