Fetish (adult)

[Brownlie]

I don't really see how any poems are safe for work. Also, doesn't the word fetish make it adult by default? Anyways, here we go with some troll shit. -- or with constructive critique.  Let's try to stick to that next time, thanks/ Admin

My first thread, woohoo! So why not immediately start of with a NSFW poem  ><
I've had this one laying around for a while and I'm really happy with it. I think that I should really pick a poem that I can't make any better myself, so that's why I chose this one.
Don't be afraid to really tear into it, I've been pampered for years and it's time for someone to rip the bandage off (only if you truly mean it of course!)
Appreciate ya!




FETISH

Flaccid bones and tense flesh -- What is this? An old dude with arthritis or something?
tightly sealed in stretched
skin; heaving and writhing. -- Is the semicolon the right punctuation here?
Clawing up blood and feverishly
reaching for mangled dreams
tangled in visions of ecstasy and
sensual shame. -- You know, you can bust a nut with minimal shame. 
                      Inflicting pleasure unto -- unto doesn't belong with sex. Unto my hilt m'lady? 'Tis I the exalted scholar. May the dust of learnedness act as a pure and potent barrenwort tonic. Just my opinion. 
unblemished skin to force into
reality, and bathe in the staining -- Who bathes in their own exultant juices? I don't give a crap, but I let them go down the drain.  
release of, ungodly obsessions; -- What is this? Some olde timey night repenting for some porn? Man, whatever. Plus, the punctuation is weird. Maybe that's  intentional. 
harvested from a fading childhood -- Psychological connection is sort of interesting. Who harvests their own childhood thought?
and wicked whispers of innocence tied down. -- In this context, alliteration is downright creepy. I've done worse. 
by moist leather, exotic rope
and love without mercy;
distilling rapture from pain. -- This says nothing about S and M. Maybe people love eachother and do crazy ass shit. However, this poem is not explaining that. 

-no thought can turn back time
no time can turn back thought-- What is this? An antimetabole (crap term) or something? An antiquated politician? Maybe I'm an American, F' ya, but you should say: Our ills can be scapegoated on the these poor mofos, f' y'all everyone else wears a pants suit, from Express ( damn elitist scum). 

I see no issue with a fetish as long as it's not destructive to other people. If so, well, you're an a-hole like many others. Congrats. On the other hand, this poem is pretty abstract, and doesn't really provide enough details to go beyond I did something and felt ashamed. You're obviously super smart and can provide more insight.