03-12-2017, 07:11 AM
Leering eyes is icky -- so perfect!
What about sealed tight beneath instead of in? Then you get the suggestion of submission also, as if the flesh is imprisoned.
For the inflicting pleasure dilemma, what about something to do with awakening nerves or suggesting that there's some cognitive dissonance between what is right and what is nice? I feel there's a lack of conflict on a cerebral level here -- this is an opportunity to build on the shame concept and bulk up the middle of your poem at the same time.
Yep, like venomous and also restrained.
This is how a workshop should work. What a pleasure it is to have you here.
What about sealed tight beneath instead of in? Then you get the suggestion of submission also, as if the flesh is imprisoned.
For the inflicting pleasure dilemma, what about something to do with awakening nerves or suggesting that there's some cognitive dissonance between what is right and what is nice? I feel there's a lack of conflict on a cerebral level here -- this is an opportunity to build on the shame concept and bulk up the middle of your poem at the same time.
Yep, like venomous and also restrained.
This is how a workshop should work. What a pleasure it is to have you here.
It could be worse