03-09-2017, 12:37 AM
It's talking about premarital abstinence.
I'd consider another form that would allow you to make stronger line breaks. I'm not sure focusing on Senryu is helping.
If you lengthen it just slightly to make it into just a short poem, then you could include an image/simile/metaphor. I think that would help.
I'd consider another form that would allow you to make stronger line breaks. I'm not sure focusing on Senryu is helping.
If you lengthen it just slightly to make it into just a short poem, then you could include an image/simile/metaphor. I think that would help.