Lost in Translation, Whale song

[theDesigner]

Maybe I’ll sing again when I’m a whale

Lost in Translation
Whale song


Maybe the whales are just singing
Maybe they don’t want to talk to eyes-in-front types - I think it would make more sense just to keep the "like you" up with this line, it punches harder that way, I think this is a line that needs to hit you, attack you a little.
like you. Maybe they’ve already done that and got tired of being misunderstood and - Again, you can just cut off the "and" and make that line hurt harder instead of making it seem like a ramble. Ofc if you did you'd have to re-write the next line
now is just the time to sing because for you forever is just a heel-toe heel-toe
of heartbeats with an invisible countdown - the measure of mortality, a pedometer of days - "the measure of morality," I love double meanings, that one is really good. I like it a lot.
I’d far rather float through sargasso forests, light beams freckle me, I’m so grand you can’t imagine - Not sure if this is correct, but sargasso is a sea, sargassum is the name of the actual seaweed. Probably doesn't matter, but what the heck.
I just go on and on in zero buoyancy that is nigh holy, the silence between notes is utter
The song is all about giving, the water laps up what you give, mamas milk pushes - The transition to maternal from passive aggressive whale roast is a bit awkward
sounds through a sieve of plankton. Like love, it heats the blood, water and salt
as you give.  Electrons buzz with karma, trailing out - Electrons doesn't really fit with the theme of whale.
through ripples that slowly fade. All life seeks balance. The last of my breath - All life seeks balance is a bit of a forced line, could probably fit that in better.
bubbles out as a long sigh, my chest hurts a little because the thought was just too big to have
Whatever words I had were useless
Maybe I’ll sing again when I’m a whale - I think you're trying to imply a Buddhist interpretation of reincarnation, maybe try working that angle some in there and implying that better as well