03-01-2017, 01:39 AM
at times i loved AI,
at times it made me cry
at times i thought it just plain sucked -- later, why oh why
did Stanley Kubrick had to die
but back to your piece: yeah, it was AI that really popped into my head, and the earlier comment is a, ahem, lie: i remember loving the film, and it's the haunting bits i still remember. so not really the spider's web, which if it isn't already a reference may be better as one -- "is like falling / into a shallow pool" or something -- and the period dividing "flickers out" and "if you wrap" should really be a comma or a semicolon or an em dash (with "through 2,000 years / / of emptiness, until" perhaps being shortened to "through 2,000 years until" for the sake of cleaning up the sentence structure), but otherwise a solid, for those i think who've watched and loved the film evocative, piece.
at times it made me cry
at times i thought it just plain sucked -- later, why oh why
did Stanley Kubrick had to die
but back to your piece: yeah, it was AI that really popped into my head, and the earlier comment is a, ahem, lie: i remember loving the film, and it's the haunting bits i still remember. so not really the spider's web, which if it isn't already a reference may be better as one -- "is like falling / into a shallow pool" or something -- and the period dividing "flickers out" and "if you wrap" should really be a comma or a semicolon or an em dash (with "through 2,000 years / / of emptiness, until" perhaps being shortened to "through 2,000 years until" for the sake of cleaning up the sentence structure), but otherwise a solid, for those i think who've watched and loved the film evocative, piece.