02-27-2017, 06:17 AM
I really enjoyed this poem. It's short, sweet, and soft (not including the dynamite of course. 
) I definitely agree that there should be more of a "leading up to" idea in this. Anticipation is what a lot of people look for in poetry, especially in this case. So if you are trying to keep this as short as you have, I would definitely add a little more punch. If you are not opposed to making it longer, you could definitely add in a couple more stanza's to elaborate the story a bit and make it all tie in together. 
) I definitely agree that there should be more of a "leading up to" idea in this. Anticipation is what a lot of people look for in poetry, especially in this case. So if you are trying to keep this as short as you have, I would definitely add a little more punch. If you are not opposed to making it longer, you could definitely add in a couple more stanza's to elaborate the story a bit and make it all tie in together.
~I hope to see my Pilot face to face
When I have crost the bar.~ Alfred, Lord Tennyson