02-26-2017, 06:09 AM
Since this is basic critique and you're new, I want to ask what you find poetic about this, and focus on that. For me, too much father son back and forth, is and has, and choppy sentences. Elaboration
I like thinking about a father son match like basketball, competition, you know, like personal life aside on the field. Mano a Mano.
I said in my head, '16 pointS to gryffindor!' But I got way lost in the heavens, why call them blind mice, are you focusing on how weird thE holy trinity is? 3 in 1 and such.
I like the enjambent of 'in darkness'
I like thinking about a father son match like basketball, competition, you know, like personal life aside on the field. Mano a Mano.
I said in my head, '16 pointS to gryffindor!' But I got way lost in the heavens, why call them blind mice, are you focusing on how weird thE holy trinity is? 3 in 1 and such.
I like the enjambent of 'in darkness'
Peanut butter honey banana sandwiches