Higher Still

[muteyy]

I really love the idea of this poem, as far as the story. If you nail down the flow of the words, it will sound a lot better mentally and verbally. I love the rhyme pattern, it is just difficult to say in some parts of the poem. (e.g "We come as a babe"(5 syllables) ; compared to "As a child"(3 syllables)) That is the only thing in my mind that made it more difficult to stay consistently reading.

Otherwise, I did really enjoy the coming up, growing old, and eventual death of this poem. It was short, but got the point across. With some touch ups, I would absolutely be in love with this.