02-24-2017, 01:48 PM
(02-24-2017, 07:42 AM)Todd Wrote: The morning is for Rachmaninoff and bees,Great mood poem
and the soft steps of pollened feet,
as black separates from white. ....while this line is plain in itself, it's brilliant where it is
The sun is a bronze chime ... i would prefer "brass" for verisimilitude but it's an ugly word. However, a bronze chime cannot give off a copper light as bronze is darker.
and half the bed shivers.
In the copper glow,
the dew on the leaf
is a dappled darkness. .... although I love this last line, I can help but doubt whether dew can be a dappled darkness. "The dewy leaf / casts a dappled darkness", for instance, would be easier to explain. But "dewy" is cliched
~ I think I just quoted myself - Achebe

