on concrete and hippies
#7
Hi Dale, thanks for commenting. I say that phrase with more of a pause before 'hydraulics hissing.' I wonder if the lack of punctuation is hampering this one more than helping. But, yes, your phrasing does sound natural.

It's good to have some new eyes and ears on this one. Give me lots to think about.

Thank you again. Smile
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Messages In This Thread
on concrete and hippies - by Lizzie - 02-19-2017, 04:52 AM
RE: on concrete and hippies - by canofworms - 02-19-2017, 07:45 AM
RE: on concrete and hippies - by Achebe - 02-19-2017, 06:52 PM
RE: on concrete and hippies - by Quixilated - 02-19-2017, 08:25 PM
RE: on concrete and hippies - by Lizzie - 02-20-2017, 03:38 PM
RE: on concrete and hippies - by Erthona - 02-21-2017, 08:49 AM
RE: on concrete and hippies - by Lizzie - 02-22-2017, 01:37 AM
RE: on concrete and hippies - by canofworms - 02-22-2017, 01:53 AM
RE: on concrete and hippies - by nibbed - 03-11-2017, 04:01 AM
RE: on concrete and hippies - by Lizzie - 03-11-2017, 07:11 AM
RE: on concrete and hippies - by vagabond - 05-12-2017, 05:36 AM
RE: on concrete and hippies - by Lizzie - 05-12-2017, 05:40 AM
RE: on concrete and hippies - by vagabond - 05-12-2017, 08:34 AM



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