nickname musings

[Winterloc]

Your compliments mean so much, thank you! I'm glad you pointed out the confusion in the last stanza, I didn't realize it conveyed diamond eyes as a person but I see now how it does. Diamond eyes is another nickname. But could just as well be somewhat representational of a person. I should replace walked in. The only other thing I feel I should clarify is that it's not friends she doesn't cherish, it's the nicknames those loved ones gave her which pale in comparison to the nickname diamond eyes. Again my wording needs revised. I've been told a few times now that my writing can be vague, so, it's definitely something I need to imrove on! Haha Thank you for your insights, I will work to make this poem more understandable. There is more meaning I could explain but hopefully the revisions I make will reflect that and it will stand on its own. Thanks for reading!

The language is lush, melodic and compelling, but I don't understand all the parts.


Sparky, sparkle-plenty, chameleon and blondie,     [these are obviously nicknames she's used]
she loved anything tender or unique.
Sweet endearments and older friends,
it makes her feel bad she doesn't cherish any of them.     ["them" meaning the friends, right?]

This one soared in lightyear speed --                   ["this one" means a nickname, or a friend?]
through the narrowest wires in her mind;
to within the network she held her deepest creed.    [she sounds shallow, so "deepest creed" sounds wrong]
She's falling short, she'd often find.                       [in what way is she falling short?]

Eyes follow the soul,              [
what's right takes its toll.        [not sure of the significance of these two lines]
They give true glimpses            [it took me a while to realize that "They" meant "eyes"]
of failed outward instance.       [can we have an example of "failed outward instance"?]

Of all the nicknames she could invite,
all the gifts in all of time,  
'Diamond Eyes' walked in and burned pure light     ["Diamond eyes" is a person and not a nickname, right?
into her cloaked and never sought soul.                  "walked in" made me think of a person]
Now her soul felt the shine,
as soul and wires combined.   [from this I gather she fell in love?  or is this entire stanza still about nicknames?]

Then again, maybe it wasn't meant that way at all.         [not sure what "it" is]


I acknowledge that I can be somewhat dense when interpreting poems.  Also, a certain amount of vagueness in a poem is generally accepted these days, although that's a trends I don't like.  Even so -- if you would make your meaning more explicit, I think you'd have a magnificent poem.  You have a way of combining words that is delicious; I just want to understand the meaning a little better.