Hiatus

[CRNDLSM]

Hiatus


Sweet beer is a lampshade askew interesting metaphor, 
in the corner of a must-scented
room, blue for the evening,I appreciate this because the table is blue in the dark too, we discover later, so the lampshade is askew but it's still dark, like a blue tint over everything triggering the blue mood 
with a blue stained sofa borrowed
years ago from one of mom's
work acquaintances she hasn't seen in years. Who borrows furniture? I like the sentiment, but sounds strange, not sure if that's character development you intend to portray 
I mean a poem is like a dream
in that you don't remember most of it. I thjnk this is a weak sentence, describing writing, but since the rest of the poem seems to deal with struggling to write, this is a nice intro to that theme.  I mean, You're sitting in the living g room, talking about your table and desk where you write, so this seems important,  going on hiatus cause you're having a hard time making new fresh ideas.
Or the moon is like the broken
record player I got as a Christmas gift
in middle school, which was not
broken but delightful when I got itbeginning with 'or' in the sentence really solidifies that idea for me
and which now looks cool as ever
with its crocked up lid and needle,
with its dust, only it playsthe moon and this record metaphor both seem like metaphors for what a poem is, 
records wrong, a little too fast
or a little too slow, rending it unusable.

False plants curl in the shadow this stanza or strophe is very lively, everything is personified beautifully, plants curl, typewriter rests, even the dog who seems very detached from the speaker (when dogs are usually man's best friend) really opens up the staleness of your surroundings too.
of the windowsill, and the dog with an odd
occasional grunt rests on the rug
at the foot of the stair.
The typewriter I rarely touch
rests beside me on the desk,
loaded with paper, gleaming in the lamplight. It's moved from the bedroom to the living area it sounds, loaded with paper cause you clearly want to write, so you change your surroundings to maybe trigger the inspiration
I've written some good poems on that machine.
Or the drafts that later became I'd comma after this and the next 'or'
good poems, or the bad poems remedied and I'd keep the pattern of 'or' starting the sentence, shows a pause and helps with the flow of adding another indecision.
bit by bit on my laptop until
they became not-quite-perfect
but at least themselves. Years ago even your bad poems you speak about like a parent almost
this was the desk in my bedroom, and over
the years it hasn't changed.
It is red mahogany—blue in the dark—
covered with scratches and cup rings.
This is the same house, rearranged.

Cold moon tomorrow.
I mean December's full moon.good use of 'I mean' easy to abuse in personal narrratives
I've got work, and also
I think I'll lose my mind.you work, but I'm sure this isn't about working on poetry, which you seem to want to do, and will lose your mind cause you cant
Just a little. In spring I'll move out.
Leaving my parents and sister, and
most of my things, until my parents also
move and my sister goesand then you don't bring up writing again just reinforce the need for a change, and the need to write
to college, and then this place
where I sit, so familiar in its proximity
will drift forever from my life the first attempt at saying what a poem is, defined by your life as you saw it.  Going on hiatus from the bogginess of your surroundings, or on hiatus from writing cause you're out of inspiration.  Either way, I love this poem
and become the stuff of dreams.

Nice job !  Thanks for sharing