caroline

[ellajam]

I agree with ella. Even though I'm not a big fan of 'paralyses' because of the metaphor, the original was still better than the later edits and dropping the last line alone should be enough

ha, "rakes" or "compresses" would suit the metaphor, the latter more like the current tone but I like rakes.

But, wormy, don't let us ruin your poem.

Nope, compress with press would be too much, rakes it is, brings up raked over the coals.