02-16-2017, 11:15 AM
(02-16-2017, 09:37 AM)dukealien Wrote: EssenceMy only other thought is that I don't like the title. I'd use "Faux" as the title and then choose something else in place of that word within the poem.
Faux pearl gutter-gleaming
scuffed and traffic-bruised,
crudely made ~ my only quibble is that 'made' feels weak -- I like how crudely sets up jewel tonally
yet from any distance
could be taken for Platonic essence -- I like Platonic essence and how it works tonally with distance
of the jewel.
I think this is a solid offering. Well done.

