02-15-2017, 10:19 AM
Hi ponykeeper! Your poem uses good imagery to move its message along. I like the way the final stanza forces me to reinterpret the title.
Maybe making the tree a particular species, rather than the generic 'large tree', would sharpen the image.
Nice use of sonics, too. I wonder though, how the weight of a troll can do all those things: kick, pummel, gnaw, and screech. It feels as though you are personifying the weight of the troll, which is already a personification of pain.
Anyway, well done. Keep playing with it!
Maybe making the tree a particular species, rather than the generic 'large tree', would sharpen the image.
Nice use of sonics, too. I wonder though, how the weight of a troll can do all those things: kick, pummel, gnaw, and screech. It feels as though you are personifying the weight of the troll, which is already a personification of pain.
Anyway, well done. Keep playing with it!