Louisa the lifeboat and her overland launch 1899

[Lizzie]

Keith: I love this form, and I think you pulled it off very well. There's a couple of places where the meter stumbles for me at the beginning syllable of a couple of lines. I don't know if it's an acceptable variation to have two stressed syllables at the beginning, I know that a trochee substitution is legit. So, you'll have to forgive my ignorance if I'm just ill informed.

The sea cats claws had ripped the pier
three masts, full rigged the Forrest Hall, -- here's one; I have a hard time not hearing 'three' as stressed along with masts. Then it's back to iambs with 'full rigged'.
two thousand tonnes without a steer. -- I hear TWO THOUsand

No rescue for the sailors call
Louisa's launch would surely fail
so rope and block and one and all

did drag the boat through rain and hail,
up over Countisbury Hill -- I hear 'UP Over'
and o'er bleak Exmoor horse and tail. -- stressing o'er (more of a connecting word) and then de-emphasizing 'bleak' feels awkward.

Then down to Porlock slipping still
the boat was launched on dawns next day,
to guide them home above the shrill,

all thirteen strong to light their way
on board the schooner stepped the crew
safe anchors dropped by Barry's bay. -- SAFE ANchors

They steamed her back to Lyntons pew,
refurbished now for all to view.

The bumps are just noticeable enough to me to be distracting, that's why I mention.

Anyway, it's a good write. Thanks for sharing.

Cheers!

Lizzie