Church of the Cul de Sac

[fanakz]

Our children ride bikes in circles  Maybe "Our children, biking in circles" ? Or "Our children bike in circles" ? I feel as though shortening the first line would make it flow better. 
while we, the parents, flock 
along the sidewalk like as birds do on a wire. Love the comparison. Only changed the like, because you use another simile in the next line. It makes it too redundant to read the word "like" so close to each other. 
(I always heard that birds have church too,
congregated like strings of black pearls.) Absolutely love this. Love, love, love. "Strings of black pearls" is such a beautiful line, especially. 
We are the Church of St. Coca—
cappuccinos, lattes, and mochas; yoga pants,
rain boots, and Seahawks sweatshirts— Maybe use the term "jerseys" instead? 
a heathen's Sunday best .  I really enjoy this line.
We are the Church of “How do your kids like Mrs. So and So's class?”— I would change to an em dash to keep the structure you made before with them. 
weather cycles, property lines,
water pressure, recycling schedules: our education I am not sure what you are doing with the colon. 
comes from Gary, a friendly tarantula I love the this.
of a man—slow and hairy—
with fuzzy-bear caterpillar eyebrows. Fuzzy-bear is awkward. It's already mentioned he is hairy, as well; so it is a little repetitive. 
He explains passages of the HOA manual Why not try to use a more religious reference? Such as when a priest "preaches" instead of "explains" a homily
and intercedes on our behalf
with our president, to whom we pay our dues.  
We think of unwell neighbors.
We are the Church of the Cul de Sac, and we chant
“May the American dream be with you—
and also with you.” This is fantastic. Absolute gold. I adore it!