02-03-2017, 10:55 AM
Thanks for the feedback!
L2: I wanted a level of separation above commas, since commas would for me interrupt the thought-rhythm.
L3: Agreed. Hmm...since the chief idea for that section is reincarnation, yet it seems it's touched a little too obliquely, perhaps I should replace it with something more direct? "then fills a Dionysian cup"....
Vita Nova: the irony being that, though I know about Dante's La Vita Nuova, I know much more about Louise Gluck's Vita Nova, the second one being something I've actually read (though La Vita Nuova is on my reading list). Nevertheless, the reference there is fairly rudimentary: the hidden muse is gonna be Pirithous' guide out of the underworld, is gonna give him a "new life". As for the four line scheme....what would you suggest? I wrote this as yet another exercise on a form I've been playing around with since, it seems, my second post on the site, which is basically four irregular quatrains, so really I can't think of alternative line schemes.
Again, thanks for the feedback! I've edited in a change -- "thumbelina" into "Dionysian". Happy Year of the Burnt Chicken!
L2: I wanted a level of separation above commas, since commas would for me interrupt the thought-rhythm.
L3: Agreed. Hmm...since the chief idea for that section is reincarnation, yet it seems it's touched a little too obliquely, perhaps I should replace it with something more direct? "then fills a Dionysian cup"....
Vita Nova: the irony being that, though I know about Dante's La Vita Nuova, I know much more about Louise Gluck's Vita Nova, the second one being something I've actually read (though La Vita Nuova is on my reading list). Nevertheless, the reference there is fairly rudimentary: the hidden muse is gonna be Pirithous' guide out of the underworld, is gonna give him a "new life". As for the four line scheme....what would you suggest? I wrote this as yet another exercise on a form I've been playing around with since, it seems, my second post on the site, which is basically four irregular quatrains, so really I can't think of alternative line schemes.
Again, thanks for the feedback! I've edited in a change -- "thumbelina" into "Dionysian". Happy Year of the Burnt Chicken!