Going to Long John Silvers

[kolemath]

Just going to jump in here

I’m going to Long John Silvers, where I’ll blow my brains away.
Holy lord almighty, what a hell of a day. ---The repetition is OK but would prefer some repetition of this idea rather than the exact stanza over and over
 
Got caught up in a hook and snag, -drop up?
and I lost some money at the old horse track,
guzzled down whiskey in the bright midday,
‘til the blinding sun blazoned bright dismay. -interesting idea but not the best words
 
I’m going to Long John Silvers, where I’ll blow my brains away.
Holy lord almighty, what a hell of a day.
 
Said to myself I wouldn’t turn on the car,
but the liquor store didn’t seem that far, -already drank in an earlier stanza but now we're buying it?
took off my mirror swiping a mailbox,
then I slithered home to a couple big shots.
 
I’m going to Long John Silvers, where I’ll blow my brains away.
Holy lord almighty, what a hell of a day.
 
Drenched myself, made my lips real dry, -strong line
and I gasped out slow that I’m ready to die,
reached in the sock where I kept my glock,
decided just to end all the guilt in one shot.
 
I’m going to Long John Silvers, where I’ll blow my brains away.
Holy lord almighty, what a hell of a day.
 
I’m going to Long John Silvers, on the congested freeway,
going to Long John Silvers, all you swimming fish make way,
I’m going away, I’ve decided my fate, -can end this line at away
determined the time when I’ll lay prostrate. -this line is strange..Not sure if I'm reading it right
 
I’m going to Long John Silvers, where I’ll blow my brains away.
Holy lord almighty, what a hell -the variation here is good