Walkabout - Edit

[Donald Q.]

Edit 1:

In the pet store, her eyes
matched the puppy’s. I get the image, but I think you still haven't quite found the right phrasing. Not sure 'matched' is quite right

Outside a coffee house
a busker played Hank Williams,
and she gave him a cigarette.

My boots were damp from the previous night’s rain
and a fog hugged the worms on the sidewalk.

When we got to the park,
she said some trees look better
without their leaves.

It is interesting how removed the first person 'narrator' is from your poem. I guess the narrator is observing, but the fact that all the actions are those of the female companion makes me wonder if there is more to be said here. As it is the first person has almost no presence in the poem, unless you are trying to make the relationship between the two feel in some way troubled I would maybe slip in something for the main character to do? At the moment I am concerned about their relationship, though perhaps I am just being paranoid about the picture you are painting. I hope this makes some sort of sense. Oh also your poem is interesting, and I am unsure that the current title does it justice.