01-27-2017, 02:15 AM
the film, if i remember right, sort of follows this scheme, with the first quarter being the four libertines choosing their victims and establishing the rules, the second quarter involving the first host of rapes, the third quarter involving episodes of mass blasphemy and coprophagia, and the fourth quarter being the gruesome murder of most of the victims. i suppose i just expanded the first and eliminated the coprophagia (i don't think i could ever capture how disgusting that episode was -- i couldn't eat chocolate cake for days after that), but the intent to follow is still there.
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Sounds to me like you should focus part 3 on the cake, like you wrote the poem thinking of the most vile thing you could, then left out the most vile part.
Or if tying it to your other poems is more important, then reduce the elements of the original story further, maybe so it's unsearchable, or obviously relevant through a simple search.
You got it I'll stop commenting now, thanks for sharing!
[/quote]
Sounds to me like you should focus part 3 on the cake, like you wrote the poem thinking of the most vile thing you could, then left out the most vile part.
Or if tying it to your other poems is more important, then reduce the elements of the original story further, maybe so it's unsearchable, or obviously relevant through a simple search.
You got it I'll stop commenting now, thanks for sharing!
Peanut butter honey banana sandwiches