Going to Long John Silvers

[JasonM.]

I’m going to Long John Silvers, where I’ll blow my brains away.
Holy lord almighty, what a hell of a day.
 
Got caught up in a hook and snag,
and I lost some money at the old horse track,
guzzled down whiskey in the bright midday,
‘til the blinding sun blazoned bright dismay.
 
I’m going to Long John Silvers, where I’ll blow my brains away.
Holy lord almighty, what a hell of a day. ( I really like this stanza and it started the poem out strong; however, I feel that this repetition was to soon and could have been saved for a stronger impact later on.)  
 
Said to myself I wouldn’t turn on the car,
but the liquor store didn’t seem that far,
took off my mirror swiping a mailbox,
then I slithered home to a couple big shots.  
 
I’m going to Long John Silvers, where I’ll blow my brains away.
Holy lord almighty, what a hell of a day. 
 
Drenched myself, made my lips real dry,
and I gasped out slow that I’m ready to die,
reached in the sock where I kept my glock,
decided just to end all the guilt in one shot. ( This stanza would work great if it followed right after the 4th stanza. It flows nicely with the big shots and really brings in the despair)
 
I’m going to Long John Silvers, where I’ll blow my brains away.
Holy lord almighty, what a hell of a day.
 
I’m going to Long John Silvers, on the congested freeway,
going to Long John Silvers, all you swimming fish make way,
I’m going away, I’ve decided my fate,
determined the time when I’ll lay prostrate. (Perhaps this could be placed differently. I like to reference of fishes on the highway but with that I get a sense of water and of a steady flow which is interrupted by how the stanza is placed.) 
 
I’m going to Long John Silvers, where I’ll blow my brains away.
Holy lord almighty, what a hell

I enjoyed reading this poem. I can put together a scene with what you wrote and I can feel the sense of desperation. Other than what I've already said, I'd work on the flow of the poem overall and see how it works.

Thanks for sharing!