On Cats - Edit 2

[mrweiner]

I'm mad,
or at least I'm
headed that direction,  Nice wit, although at this point I don't know whether to be worried or bemused. So it kept you reading? Perfect!
no longer at the helm of my
own thoughts.

Before,
lonliness was  Loneliness  
as normal as blinking.
My everpresent companion. ever present or ever-present, I think
Silent.

Good catches, here. Thanks.

But now
I cannot seem 
to make coffee or walk
or waken without her coming   
to mind;   There's some interesting sound play in this stanza but I'm not sure it's quite arranged right. 'Coffee / walk / waken' should be ordered differently I feel, partly to capitalise on the sound but also because logically the order there is messed up.. coffee then walk then wake up? Consider. As the next comment noted, this certainly feels like the weak point. The stanza needs some lovin' even more than I do.

smoothly
sliding her way Smoothly and sliding are too similar here I think, bit redundant. Fair point.
through my thoughts -- like a cat
between plants in a windowsill All the cats I know would just knock the plants off. A very polite cat, I guess. Interesting image though. I guess I must just know some bourgeois cats who know that's very unbecoming of them.  
garden.

Of course
I welcome her,
but I know what it's like  
when you're used to petting a cat
but can't. EDIT: Ok, I see you've said it is about new love, which is what I thought it was about before I got to the end. Maybe I'm just being an idiot, but I think the cat comparison needs a bit of work, it clearly set me off on the wrong track a bit.  This could be as simple as a title change. I wonder. I'll give it some thought. Trying to avoid clichéd writing on love.

I'm mad,
or at least I'm
headed that direction,
no longer at the helm of my
own thoughts. Not quite sure how you've managed it with such an irregular structure but this reads really well (for me). And despite the broken nature of how it's on the page, it really flows easily. Not sure if I am reading as intended but felt right!
I naturally scanned it as: I'm mad, // or at least, I'm headed that direction. // No longer at the helm of my // own thoughts. The changes in punctuation are how it read to me. Not sure how it could be read so fluently and easily with the punctuation as you have it? Also, a better word than "own" before "thoughts"? Good opening. Thank you! Yes, own is a somewhat weak way to start the line, but it's gotta be two syllables. Might be able to tweak the preceding line to make something else work.

Before,
lonliness was
as normal as blinking.
My everpresent companion.
Silent. 
Does one not feel even lonelier when they have an absent desired other? 
I guess I'm trying to highlight the difference between the feeling of being so used to having nobody that one no longer notices it, and the bated happiness that comes from longing for the presence of one's new love.  

Or perhaps at point of writing the poet still has hope. Not a fan of "normal as blinking". Just think you can come up with something better. Does silent have to occupy the last line on its own? Especially describing something as prominent as loneliness. Maybe a juxtaposition or something, for effect, e.g. "Loud, silent." or "Silent, loud." Think you can do a bit more with this. A note on the form, just since you address it a few times. The form is that of a Crown Cinquain, so the line/syllable layout has to stay intact for this particular piece.

I really like "My ever-present companion" forces the idea and presence of loneliness, in language echoing how you'd describe a loved one- good stuff. Thank you!

But now
I cannot seem 
to make coffee or walk
or waken without her coming
to mind; 
I find this the weakest stanza by far. The rhythm/ease of reading of the other stanzas isn't here, and with no punctuation it just read to me as a non-poetic sentence randomly broken up into 5 lines- without any engrossing language or insightful imagery which might have saved the sudden lack of rhythm. I'd keep the sentiment but change its implementation. At least punctuate to manipulate the reader's flow in some way. After letting it sit for a couple of days, this does seem like the weaker stanza. I'm going to rework it a bit and see what I can come up with.

smoothly
sliding her way
through my thoughts -- like a cat
between plants in a windowsill
garden. 
Love the image and how it ties in with the title, again I think you can poss manipulate the rhythm through punctuation. 
The way I want to read this is with some breaks, which would mirror the feeling of the poem. E.g:
smoothly

gliding, sliding her way
through my thoughts; like a cat
between plants, in a windowsill
garden.

Some of this relates to the form point above. I'll consider punctuation, but I don't want to force the reader to break their focus too much, here.  Were I to read it aloud I don't think I'd break after plants, for instance.

Of course
I welcome her,
but I know what it's like
when you're used to petting a cat
but can't

So it turns out the poet has gotten the girl, right? Or is this suggestive? I'm confused by welcoming her but the metaphor saying you cannot pet the cat? If the poet has the girl I'm not sure why it ends on the negative notion, if the poet hasn't got the girl I'm thus confused by "I welcome her". Pls explain and I shall see if it becomes clear- but this was the only part I read and took as contradictory. 
With the piece, I'm trying to convey the feeling of being in a new relationship that is still in the "feeling out" phase -- where it's not cemented that you could be "together forever" -- and the insecurity that can come along with this. It can be hard to let somebody into your heart when you're afraid their going to leave you, even if you feel strongly for them. Here, I'm trying to liken the feeling of somebody leaving who you've mentally committed to, to the loss of the cat who you're used to petting. 

Hence, the poet "welcome's her" presence in his life and heart, but is apprehensive because he is familiar with heartbreak. Maybe the "petting a cat" thing is too abstract. Maybe the "coffee" stanza above is somewhere that I can clarify some of this. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

Also definitely do something about the two "buts". I'd cut the one before "I know..." or use something like "yet". The repetition isn't great.
Thanks for pointing out my extra "but". Ha! I actually didn't like that but forgot. Yet is probably more appropriate for one of them. May be a way to rework it.

Enjoyed this, keep at it
I certainly will.