Coughing, Chills, Shakes and Fever

[RiverNotch]

Coughing, Chills, Shakes and Fever
 
Coughing, chills, shakes and fever --
take some aspirin, then to bed.
Curl up tight: a human spheroid,
sleep so deep you’d think I'm dead.
 
Fever, coughing, chills and shakes --
my ribs hurt -- each breath I take -- each move I make, each bond I break, each step I take
head expanding, pulsing, pounding --
oh how does my body ache! so yeah, i really like my em dashes. but in this case i think to abuse them is more justified -- highlights the pain, and the spaces between words one so often makes when in such pain. plus, it's not like the commas here aren't equally abused.
 
Shakes and fever, coughing, chills --
what makes me feel so very ill?
Little buggies farm inside me,
plant their seedlings, plow the field. these two lines just made me scream like a little girl inside. "little buggies farm inside me" -- so cute!
 
Chills and shakes, fever, coughing --
surely I will die tonight! also an abuse of the exclamation mark. but also in this case, i think the abuse is justified -- the sentiments here feel informally-overblown enough to really merit it.
Am I cursed, or am I blessed, I'm not sure if the dichotomy here is right -- or perhaps I'm bothered just because of the wrong tense. Surely not "am", but "would"! A (terrible) suggestion: "Would I be cursed, would I be blessed/ if I see the morning light?" No, no, that doesn't feel right. Maybe just focus on the "am I cursed" bit of the question, since to answer the question with a 'no' already implies "blessed".
if I see the morning light?
 
 
erthona

My nits mostly concern punctuation, so again, they're prolly ignoreable.