01-23-2017, 06:24 AM
This poem could be read well if you have the right voice and attitude to carry it. It has that thing about it, the spiralling recording, like I was in the ice cream shop and the ice cream shop was outside of me, because I was in it though its walls were external to me. That kind of thing. Though when you get to the lines of inner file cabinets and heirlooms it all starts to come together and work. But do the flat parts work? Sometimes they do, and you can afford balancing boring, saying-nothing-much lines with the better more interesting ones. That's how I see it. It's all up to you.