01-23-2017, 01:40 AM
Hey J,
The first two lines are my favorite, I'm not sure this poems intention though, and it seems to drift from metaphor to metaphor. I'd lose lines like L3, L6 and the last three lines, and focus on making the first lines metaphor the central. Thanks for the read,
mike
The first two lines are my favorite, I'm not sure this poems intention though, and it seems to drift from metaphor to metaphor. I'd lose lines like L3, L6 and the last three lines, and focus on making the first lines metaphor the central. Thanks for the read,
mike
Crit away