01-20-2017, 09:39 PM
"If I cut a t-shaped gash into my flesh,
And yanked out the heart from my chest,"
This is very sequential, yet no mention of going through rib cage. Expecting the normal reader to extrapolated that T-shape gash (cut would be better, I'll explain) implies that one "will" go through chest is asking a lot of the general reader.
A surgical and detached approach to such a scene makes it more horrific, whereas such words like gash make it more campy.
I would return to red gloves carrying a different connotation than bloody gloves.
"Oh look, she looks so stylish in her red satin gown with accompanying red gloves."
"Follow me there,
Take my red-gloved hand,"
glove and hand are redundant. As a surgical procedure has been formed, glove would tend to be the obvious choice.
"Follow me there,
Take my blood streaked glove"
Best,
dale
And yanked out the heart from my chest,"
This is very sequential, yet no mention of going through rib cage. Expecting the normal reader to extrapolated that T-shape gash (cut would be better, I'll explain) implies that one "will" go through chest is asking a lot of the general reader.
A surgical and detached approach to such a scene makes it more horrific, whereas such words like gash make it more campy.
I would return to red gloves carrying a different connotation than bloody gloves.
"Oh look, she looks so stylish in her red satin gown with accompanying red gloves."
"Follow me there,
Take my red-gloved hand,"
glove and hand are redundant. As a surgical procedure has been formed, glove would tend to be the obvious choice.
"Follow me there,
Take my blood streaked glove"
Best,
dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.