Inheritance - Edit

[Carrie Birdsong]

Inheritance


When he was five young Gerald’s father spanked
him angrily for playing near the edge,
tormenting animals, and most of all
for toying with himself.  Young Gerald learned
what things were right and wrong, and soon forgot
those loving pains and terrors that had taught
him which was which.  At thirty-three his shrink
informed him that his fear of heights was caused
by rage and anger, violent abuse
his father had inflicted on a son
he hated.  Gerald took it all to heart
and never punished his son Ted except
with smiling time-outs.  No-one could explain
why Ted turned out sadistic and depraved,
thrill-seeking and amoral - unafraid
of playing near the edge.  Old Gerald thought
it had to be inherited somehow -
Ted’s grandfather, as he recalled, was bad.

A little blank verse - have to get a bit of strikebreaking in before the "Poets' Strike" is over!

I get the feeling that I'm reading a snippet from a diary entry or directly from your subconcious. It's interesting and sort of new to me, so it's hard for me to critique. It has no real rhythm, which I like because it adds to the stream of conciousness feel. I really appreciated the end, because it's so light it almost makes me want to laugh to rid myself of the nervous tension from the previous lines. I also really enjoy how you keep me interested in this character Ted, even though the poem is more about his father. For some reason, I think of Ted Bundy when I read this poem.