Inheritance - Edit

[Cousin Kil]

Inheritance


When he was five young Gerald’s father spanked "Five young" read a little off to me and makes the situation of being spanked sound more obscure/foreign than it is, I think. If I were you I might just say five year's old.
him angrily for playing near the edge, I love this just because we don't know what the edge exactly is. Could be the edge of the pool, edge of the sidewalk, or the edge of the world. I dig.
tormenting animals, and most of all
for toying with himself.  Young Gerald learned Personally not a fan of "young gerald" but only for stylistic reasons. There's no pressing offense here.
what things were right and wrong, and soon forgot
those loving pains and terrors that had taught
him which was which.  At thirty-three his shrink
informed him that his fear of heights was caused Fear of heights? If Gerald is some kind of Jesus, being 33 and all, I guess that edge he played near was the edge of a cloud.
by rage and anger, violent abuse
his father had inflicted on a son
he hated.  Gerald took it all to heart
and never punished his son Ted except
with smiling time-outs.  No-one could explain
why Ted turned out sadistic and depraved, If we run with the whole Jesus idea (which i think is what you were after with 33), then I guess we're Ted. Makes sense.
thrill-seeking and amoral - unafraid
of playing near the edge.  Old Gerald thought
it had to be inherited somehow -
Ted’s grandfather, as he recalled, was bad.

dukealien,

I really like that your poem has something to say about god. Correct me if I'm wrong/if that's not what its about. The 33 is what sold it to me. Not to mention the title of your poem. I like the idea of inheritance in a religious context, and that inheritance not coming from Adam and Eve but instead from the big guy who's image we were (perhaps) made in. And I like that that likeness is not necessarily on the face of things and in the faces of us.

Good little nugget here. Thanks for the read.
Evan