Once Upon A Wi-fi edit

[MadelineAnne]

Hi CRNDLSM! I think you've done a nice job combining the rhymes to make such a consistent whole. Just a couple of things:

Edit

Once upon a wi-fi, 
I spied the whole world wide, I like the play on world wide web
business ventures in the night. "business ventures" is very technical sounding -- not the most beautiful part of the poem
When the flames touched the sky,
bank accounts went dry,
windows opened, people tried to fly. Good World Trade Center image

Once upon a wi-fi,
I spied a private eye
looking for an alibi.
His lonely wife sharpens a knife.
Naive? Sigh...
another murder-suicide.

Once upon a wi-fi,
I spied a spirit guide
in the corner, getting high.
Brains fried, 
nowhere to hide.
Desensitized, I'm not surprised.

Once upon a wi-fi,
I spied two ships collide. I think you have a tense inconsistency, because spied is past tense and collide is present tense.
I'll never know why
everybody's gotta die!

Enjoyed reading this!

Cheers