january

[Achebe]

snow covers my walk to school

like a nun covers cleavage. winter.....the white habit. Yes, but it screams too desperately as an attempt to shock 

is nothing new, she’s been stuck....sudden use of enjambment. Nice 

in my head for months, 

(fuck mariah carey)...An anticlimax. I want my money back 

the world is a numb white,

and so are my hands -

just as we forget what green

looks like, the feeling in our

skin falls frozen off the bone. .....this doesn't take the thought forward from S1 - this is just rambling with line breaks 

december is a cold-hearted

bitch, dolled up in ornaments,

wrapping paper, adolescent

laughter, empty wallets. ....nice, but I would prefer a simile "is like" over a metaphor in L1.

jesus celebrates his

two-thousandth odd

birthday, and it’s clear

that under all of december’s

ugly-girl make up is just

pine needles. fucking everywhere. ....fails to take the thought forward from S2. L2 here is particularly prosaic

Thanks for posting