Easter Ross 1836

[Magpie]

Hi Mercedes, I know that this is an old post but I felt compelled to leave some comments.

Easter Ross 1836            
 
 
Fifty years after the clearances began
an unholy trinity stalks the glens: — Great line. 'stalks the glens' is very evocative of the Highlands
 
Eviction, Poverty, Famine — part of me wants 'and' in between poverty and famine just so it echoes the trinity of Father, Son and Holy Spirit - although it probably reads better without it
 
The blind sennachie warns us — great word choice with 'sennachie' - the use of Gaelic/Scottish words greatly enhance the poem's authenticity
Make signs against evil eye
too late; the Great Sheep
is already here.
 
From their pulpits, preachers — do you need 'their'? - it reads better without it
denounce our wickedness
His providence and mercy
has sent this scourge
to bring you to repentance
 
and leave us to starve,
freezing to death in our fields — I'm tempted to say that 'freezing to death' is a cliche - but I'm probably being too fussy and I understand why you've used it in relation  to the next line
or burned alive in our homes;
 
whole villages,
whole bloodlines — is 'whole' needed in these two lines?
annihilated in the time — good word choice with 'annihilated'
it takes to nail doors shut — it may just be me but 'nail' and 'doors' brings Martin Luther to mind -  could there be another way of saying this
set fire to the cottage — because you have mentioned being 'burned alive in our homes' in the previous stanza I feel that this stanza loses some of its impact, which is a shame because it is a very powerful stanza. Is there a possibilty of somehow swapping these two stanzas, both are necessary to the poem but I feel as though it may work better with this stanza first
and move on to the next
 
leaving no one to grieve,
no tears, no stones — suggest that you could possibly use 'cairn' instead of 'stones', it would fit in with the other Gaelic word choices throughout the poem and avoid the rhyme that seems out of place with the rest of the poem
placed over our bones:
just summer grass,
winter snow, wind
off the lochs — great word choice again, I'll always love a poem that has 'loch' in it
and the Great Sheep’s dung. — at first I liked the use of 'dung' but upon thinking; it could be seen as manure or fertilizer... Although I may have misunderstood your intentions with this line.
 

I agree that the poem is very tight anyway and therefore I am struggling to give a lot of feedback, most of what I have said is me being really fussy. I also haven't critiqued anything for about six months so I'm out of practice.
I don't know how you feel about footnotes with poems but perhaps a footnote to explain where the lines in italics are from may be of use to some readers, it may encourage some people to want to read more about what is a very important subject.

Also, I should add that I live in the highlands of Scotland within 15 miles of Evanton, hence my reason for feeling compelled to comment.

Thanks for the read

Mark