Architectures

[CRNDLSM]

Hi rogo!  Interesting work, the edit reads better for sure.  It seems you're dead set on the climax being given the ending ,'I am just an answer'  which still makes no sense to me considering the title.  I love how the title reflects the sculpture of lines it seems you're building.  

Architectures       [Revision]

fuse from pyro
        lysis as titled spires
                    wind in what is it called when there are a lot of similar sounds back to back, like a cross between alliteration and rhyming, what I love about your enjamb is that I am forced to think about this pronunciation.  Wind or wind lol
tidal oxygen I inhale
         your son since youre not talking to me really I don't think your son matters, especially since it's not in the original, 
                    amid the sea I miss the hyphens and think sea-red needs one
red katabasis still
         drowning out his
                    name thru a divi
nation of smoke who answers   
         I am just all this rewrite is good but even so, 'I am just an answer' doesn't make sense to me in context, abstract for abstract sake, 
                    an answer

What I really loved about the original was how the enjambment made the words swing in two ways

Architectures 
      
     fuse from pyro pyro and pyrolysis
-lysis    titled   
     spines wind in
                     tidal air    arch arch and archipelago
-ipelago jet & arrows
     narrowed their beams thru kind kind and kindled
-led oxygen    who answers
     “I am just
                      an answer”

And in the rewrite you made the enjamb more ab9ut the sentences than the words, with the exception of divi-nation, which I don't really like in the edit because 'divi' means nothing to me.