Left drunk on her exes car windscreen // I am not a cuckoo

[rollingbrianjones]

TY for these- very simple yet effective. Put them all into the edit to sit back and take a look. Me instead of I, that's a winner, I need to try and get away from this over-archaic ridiculousness use of dated language but long time habits can be hard to shake.

Semi colons are weak I suppose, but I felt anything else was too formal and wanted the line to run but with a stutter between pain and deserved. Gone with full colon and comma after deserved- I felt that made it firmer and still fluent.

Made that sentence conclusive, yup definitely better, thanks, there was no need to have that open as I had it previously.

Changed the alliteration for the sake of the edit, though I still have an inkling towards the original three Ws as the alliteration was more a product of wanting those words rather than forced for the sake of allit. I like the idea of a person waning whilst wandering/wondering. It suited the purpose anyway. This one is the only point of yours I'm not sure about changing, so thanks for the pretty simple (but effective) suggestions.

RBJ