01-06-2017, 06:25 AM
(01-05-2017, 12:17 PM)rollingbrianjones Wrote: Left drunk on her exes car windscreen // I am not a cuckooGood one
Screaming, crying, crawling man
I took your nest because I can.
Her whispered whims no longer yours,
She’s lost yet found; for I she chores. ....Should definitely be "me"
Displaced, dismayed, I know your pain; .....why the semi colon if you're enjambinf?
Deserved. I’d do the same again.
The hand you dealt her, boastful, vain,
You wronged her, conned her, yanked your chain. ....the previous sentence does not conclude
She wondered, wandered, waning, sane......the alliteration is a distraction
Your loss you caused. I made my gain.
But no, a cuckoo I am not
No chicks were slain, nor laid to rot. .....nice
~ I think I just quoted myself - Achebe

