12-29-2016, 03:43 AM
Shouldn't "spears" be capped?
This poem appears to not know what it wants to be. Is it a recollection/reminisce on pop culture, or grief about how things didn't turn out as you and your friend had planed it? I can see how these two things could reinforce each other, but I don't see that happening here. I think more thought needs to be given to the structure. Then maybe you can tie in the nice intro image of the
"wind is rushing by me
like it's going to miss
its own wedding."
Best,
dale
This poem appears to not know what it wants to be. Is it a recollection/reminisce on pop culture, or grief about how things didn't turn out as you and your friend had planed it? I can see how these two things could reinforce each other, but I don't see that happening here. I think more thought needs to be given to the structure. Then maybe you can tie in the nice intro image of the
"wind is rushing by me
like it's going to miss
its own wedding."
Best,
dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.