12-19-2016, 04:42 AM
I've been busy working in the real world, I haven't done any workshopping in months, so this is a rusty critique. I noticed no responses so figured I would start here.
This is a set of quatrains that to my read have no meter or rhyme. Free verse, apparently. But why four lines per strophe?
The subject matter is interesting enough, almost Walter Mitty ish, with self deprecation mixed in. Fun to read through.
However, especially the last strophe shows run on sentences. And I believe the beginning should start with a conditional "To him his death would have...."
I like the overall deal but there's those rough spots
This is a set of quatrains that to my read have no meter or rhyme. Free verse, apparently. But why four lines per strophe?
The subject matter is interesting enough, almost Walter Mitty ish, with self deprecation mixed in. Fun to read through.
However, especially the last strophe shows run on sentences. And I believe the beginning should start with a conditional "To him his death would have...."
I like the overall deal but there's those rough spots