12-10-2016, 05:03 AM
@RollingBrianJones
Wow! I thank you so much for your long and thoughtful critique. I stopped posting here awhile because I realized I really need to learn a little bit about poetry before I flood this site with all my woefully novice work.
This piece, though still novice, felt real to me. Much more so then all the pieces I’ve written about longing and love – which were real too, but by their very nature generic. You definitely reassured me that my message is resonating here though!
I will certainly take your critiques in to account. And I agree it’s very weak in some areas. I didn’t want to think about it too much as I was writing, lest the feeling escape me entirely. But I can certainly rework it now and definitely going to use your input J
Regarding the "medal" it was meant to be a little humorous. I meant it to suggest that for all our work, we really have nothing to show. I'm ok with it seeming a bit sarcastically pitiful in this sense. People get a medal for silly stuff here in the US as well. And I normally don't condone such coddling but I think I will keep it, because I do like it in this piece.
Thanks again!
@ Hesawako
Thank you very much for your thoughts here. I will be looking to rework this piece very soon
Best to you!
Wow! I thank you so much for your long and thoughtful critique. I stopped posting here awhile because I realized I really need to learn a little bit about poetry before I flood this site with all my woefully novice work.
This piece, though still novice, felt real to me. Much more so then all the pieces I’ve written about longing and love – which were real too, but by their very nature generic. You definitely reassured me that my message is resonating here though!
I will certainly take your critiques in to account. And I agree it’s very weak in some areas. I didn’t want to think about it too much as I was writing, lest the feeling escape me entirely. But I can certainly rework it now and definitely going to use your input J
Regarding the "medal" it was meant to be a little humorous. I meant it to suggest that for all our work, we really have nothing to show. I'm ok with it seeming a bit sarcastically pitiful in this sense. People get a medal for silly stuff here in the US as well. And I normally don't condone such coddling but I think I will keep it, because I do like it in this piece.
Thanks again!
@ Hesawako
Thank you very much for your thoughts here. I will be looking to rework this piece very soon
Best to you!
"If you cannot be a poet, be the poem." - David Carradine