What do you want of me?

[Sparkydashforth]

Hi Jo,

A good write this.

What do you want of me father? The first line repeats in this poem work very well.
You know, I'll never be like you.     ......conversational opening fits the subject
Is that what you'd like?        ...............not sure about the question - not fair on a silent dad I think.
For a kid who'd be so quick to judge    
To scrutinize and dissect all too?       I like the pointedness of this, but it does seem a bit preciouses of the child.

What do you want of me father?
A wealth laden career and guise     succinctly stated line
So pristinely white?      ......race comment or an allusion to being the pillar of his community?
Perhaps a glib well-to-do consort?      ...well said.
The pick relies on what his cash buys.   excellent and stark observation.

What do you want of me father?       
The dismal case prevails through it  
No wealth no power     
Will ever to you prove the verity
That good resides outside a wallet....................

I think you could do without this stanza. It breaks no new ground and ends on
a false statement. Good resides both in and outside of the wallet.


What do you want of me father?
I'll grow up and go on to do,
With all love in heart,
Searching truth, beauty, goodness for all.......I really dislike this line - far too precious
You know, I'll never be like you.....nice closing line