11-25-2016, 02:57 AM
There are a couple of lines that use enjambment, but I think you could start using that technique more to your benefit. The end rhyming becomes predictable to the point of being comical. You can use lots of rhyming words and they don't all have to occur at the end of the line. Some of the sentences make little sense, and certainly are there only for rhyme (lines 2 and 4, for example). The whole of stanza two is meaningless, except for the last line.