11-20-2016, 07:06 AM
Please take this critique with a grain of salt. Im not an expert.
At The Summit
After scars-- the upward hike of sweat, tears, scrapes, cuts and bruises…
Broken.
At the summit
I breathe in the unrelenting clefts and the protruding edges.
The battered and wounded landscape…
Broken.
At the summit
I listen to the calm landscape and perpetual skies
And touch the vibrant flower in my breast.
At the summit
I am broken and I am scarred
peacefully.
What this says to me is that part of the reason you find peace in hiking and reaching the top is the challenge.
The pains that come along with it are sensations that add to your overall satisfaction. The feeling of being drained and accomplished is what your after just as much as reaching the summit. So, when you say (After Scars-) it says to me that you know you want those bumps and cuts as a badge of honor. It would be fun to see you run with that idea to capture the feeling of your pursuit. If Im reading it right anyway.
At The Summit
After scars-- the upward hike of sweat, tears, scrapes, cuts and bruises…
Broken.
At the summit
I breathe in the unrelenting clefts and the protruding edges.
The battered and wounded landscape…
Broken.
At the summit
I listen to the calm landscape and perpetual skies
And touch the vibrant flower in my breast.
At the summit
I am broken and I am scarred
peacefully.
What this says to me is that part of the reason you find peace in hiking and reaching the top is the challenge.
The pains that come along with it are sensations that add to your overall satisfaction. The feeling of being drained and accomplished is what your after just as much as reaching the summit. So, when you say (After Scars-) it says to me that you know you want those bumps and cuts as a badge of honor. It would be fun to see you run with that idea to capture the feeling of your pursuit. If Im reading it right anyway.