Her Life As A Poem

[Sparkydashforth]

Hi Lizziep, great to get feedback on this. Thank you.

I posted this poem on this forum because I am well aware that the style is not everyone's cup of tea.
It is largely put together by word association with minimal amounts of logical progression.
Sometimes this mode works - sometimes it don't!  Occasionally I like to write in this style for it
allows me to be more surreal and free flowing.

Having said that, this one needs work, and I am grateful to you for the line by line edit.
Lots to consider here, and I will wait for more critiques before leaping to revise just yet.

Much obliged to you for giving this such a rigorous once over.

Hi Sparky. I'm ready to give you some comments on this one:

She was big-boned,
yet her parts were delicate; -- I'd just do a comma here, since what follows is not a complete sentence on its own.
a fine-spun sprouting of prairie brome -- love this image, completely fresh
threaded through
moss and engine block. -- as I understand the image, it's something more delicate threaded through something solid, but moss seems delicate too, so I'm not sure that moss is the right choice to pair with engine block.

Her home was a pine and burlap shack
for wayward cats. -- great 'a' sounds in these two lines
From her tangled porch
she would discourse on the art of life.
Poems grew in small pots -- love this
muddled with Ramen noodles and moth wings. -- I don't love muddled, maybe because it sounds like mud and I don't want mud on my Ramen noodles.

Her life often vacationed to a studio apartment -- Is this a soft and solid contrast, with the previous setting being soft? If so, I'd add other details that bring out the strong, energetic vibe of the city to make that difference pop. Otherwise, the change of venue feels disorienting.
on the East bank of her right eye,
where she sought more windmills to charge. -- I'm not getting how the windmills connect. Studio apartment makes me think city, and windmills make me think country.
She wrote on the back of her mouth
with cigarette smoke. -- nice
Her poems were the rain-filled footprints, -- I don't think you need the comma here
of Jack Kerouac. -- I like that there's a difference in energy between the poems produced in the previous stanza and here, goes along with the change in venue. Still, overall, this strophe lacks clarity for me.

She had letters before
and after her name; -- I don't like the semi colon here either, although with what follows it's technically appropriate. But, a comma would suffice, and it doesn't make as pronounced a break.
a fame made legendary -- don't like the passive voice here, doesn't fit with the image of the strong self that's portrayed in the final lines.
by all the gaps and pauses
she shrewdly refused to fill in. -- I'm on the fence about shrewdly. The sonics are great, but I don't like limiting the interpretation of her refusal to shrewdness. It feels like the word is there for the sonics, because I don't think that shrewdness would really be the cause of that refusal (maybe more like independence, spiciness, a desire to be unique, to not be determined by societal expectations, etc.). I think the phrase is much stronger as 'she refused to fill in.' My two cents. And, I love this ending and the sentiment, btw.

I love where (I think) this is going. I would work on making the images clearer and internally consistent. The beginning and ending are strong -- I would recommend letting those ideas lead the way. I see those ideas being the strong/soft contrast and the confident self-acceptance of the ending.

Good stuff in here.