Incurable (revision 18/11/2016)

[Sparkydashforth]

Hi Leanne,

thanks for the place-holder comment......much appreciated.

I think I caught the grammar errors? Not sure where the Proof-Reader
is found, but will find it in the fullness of time. Despite years of scribbling
I am still chronically, grammatically challenged.

Manta means shawl or cloth, but I think another word might be more fitting.
I wanted to use an exotic word here, but this may be a bit too cute.
Will scurry over to the On-line Lexicon to see what's on offer.

Again -
much obliged!

This isn't feedback just yet sparky, but a placeholder and a "don't lose heart I've read it" comment -- I promise I will return but I want to read this a few more times to fully appreciate it.  

First impressions though -- I genuinely love this.  The sensory experience is strong, particularly with the evocation of scents.  You have a couple of typos that a quick proofread will soon sort out for you so I'll let you do that on your own.  Also, is "manta" the word you want to use?  Feels like it should be "mantle" or maybe, at a stretch, "mantra" for something less tangible.

More soon, when I'm not fitting comments in at work -- just wanted to let you know it wasn't being ignored.

---

Hi Leanne,

thanks for the place-holder comment......much appreciated.

I think I caught the grammar errors? Not sure where the Proof-Reader
is found, but will find it in the fullness of time. Despite years of scribbling
I am still chronically, grammatically challenged.

Manta means shawl or cloth, but I think another word might be more fitting.
I wanted to use an exotic word here, but this may be a bit too cute.
Will scurry over to the On-line Lexicon to see what's on offer.

Again -
much obliged!

* Changed "manta" to 'pall'.

This isn't feedback just yet sparky, but a placeholder and a "don't lose heart I've read it" comment -- I promise I will return but I want to read this a few more times to fully appreciate it.  

First impressions though -- I genuinely love this.  The sensory experience is strong, particularly with the evocation of scents.  You have a couple of typos that a quick proofread will soon sort out for you so I'll let you do that on your own.  Also, is "manta" the word you want to use?  Feels like it should be "mantle" or maybe, at a stretch, "mantra" for something less tangible.

More soon, when I'm not fitting comments in at work -- just wanted to let you know it wasn't being ignored.