At The Summit / After Scars

[CRNDLSM]

Not sure which title to use....
Feedback's appreciated! This is my first post (of many!)
Thanks!
Howdy!  I don't know you're purpose or style but looking at the four stanzas, and the words you're repeating, I want to cut out half of it and call it short form.


At The Summit


After scars-- the upward hike of sweat, tears, scrapes, cuts and bruises…
Broken.I think just the words, 'at the summit' sums up this stanza.  so cut the whole stanza.

At the summit
I breathe in the unrelenting clefts and the protruding edges.
The battered and wounded landscape…
Broken.I like this as a setup.

At the summit you can say 'after scars' here instead
I listen to the calm landscape and perpetual skies
And touch the vibrant flower in my breast.nice and peaceful, 

At the summit
I am broken and I am scarred
peacefully.and you've already said all this and it seems implied in the previous stanzas.  so you can cut the whole stanza.  maybe just one line attached to the previous stanza to summarize.

Again, I don't know your purpose or style, but if you have a lot more Posts to make I'm curious to see what you have to say. thanks for posting