11-09-2016, 08:49 AM
Hello, Krakus.
I feel like you have the beginnings of several different poems in here that are only getting one or two lines. There are several different characters and snippets of different scenes and stories, I think it might be better to break this up into a few separate works then to superficially treat so many at once. Just a thought.
I agree with others that the part about the ramen noodles really comes to life.
I feel like you have the beginnings of several different poems in here that are only getting one or two lines. There are several different characters and snippets of different scenes and stories, I think it might be better to break this up into a few separate works then to superficially treat so many at once. Just a thought.
I agree with others that the part about the ramen noodles really comes to life.