entertaining

[Ton Romus]

i'm quieting down >>> "quieting" reminds too much of time out
receding into the corners >>> receding is weak IMO. Maybe curling folding etc.

unzipping my skin
allowing you in >>> nice
i'm entertaining >>> 4 gerunds seems a bit heavy at this point. IMO this line is not bringing anything significant to the table in terms of heat and/or detail or imagery. I'd either cut or work on something more vivid...

i let you drive

i used to do everything
with myself in mind >>> like the self reflector and the hint at submission

now i sustain you
you're my skeleton >>> the indent does nothing for me -- but I really dig these 2lines

if you become me then what becomes of me? >>> the concept here and the double me doesn't work for me... this line seems kind of tacked on -- I'd consider nixing.

loving you is my way of flirting
with death >>> flirt with death is cliché -- I do like the conclusion but I believe a search for something beside "flirting" would be worthwhile.

But yea, I like the direction this here pome goes and certainly enjoyed!

~Ton. Like "Don." But with a T. OK?