11-03-2016, 04:15 AM
Ray, this is f*****g amazing. My favorite bits:
(11-02-2016, 10:01 PM)rayheinrich Wrote:I don't think the picture adds anything, though. My mental images are much more interesting.
< all day at the dump >
loose and crazy these female dinosaurs
busy buttering hunk to hunk
loose only for a piece of rump
and give me some toast
let me watch the sun
as it touches off flowers like dynamite -- such an unexpected comparison
like fireflies on nuclear power cycles
honest-to-god real lightning and thunder bugs
bumblebees big as mountains but turning on dimes -- big as mountains for bumblebees??? I love it. I love it even more because bumblers are my favorite bees.
stay out of their way -- what's great about this is that I don't know if you're referring to the females or to the bumblers, but it makes no never mind
who gave me this day? -- lovely existential questions fleshed out in this stanza, feeling natural and not over-wrought
it's plain
it's gray
it's got nothing to say
it shipped me live
next day express
and now i'm new jersey
and i should have been new york
and i should have been a nice house and a pretty garden -- love new jersey through this line -- my favorite bits
and not this beat-up cardboard box with a wet bottom
but my top's dry
begging
to be set on fire -- perfect ending
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![[Image: BumbleBee.jpg]](http://wordbiscuit.com/im14/BumbleBee.jpg)