11-01-2016, 01:26 PM
I think I may take your title suggestion in the end. I've grown opposed to the "Like ____" as well, but not for gimmicky reasons. The commas are a response to confusion that kolemath and dukealien had, so now I'm confused about what to do there. I'll look into those first few lines as well. Definitely need trimming, but I'm not sure about adjusting the line breaks.
If you're the smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong room.
"Or, if a poet writes a poem, then immediately commits suicide (as any decent poet should)..." -- Erthona
"Or, if a poet writes a poem, then immediately commits suicide (as any decent poet should)..." -- Erthona