October Burns

[kolemath]

Sunlight shines through bare branches
and cuts eastward on narrow city streets, then
sets on the broad suburban boulevard. great sounds in this stanza, especially L3

He found a fiery death while driving
into the blinding glare and suddenly hate driving at sunset on the highway
crashing into a tree. wait, i though we were on narrow city streets..
Cold autumn winds fan the flames. more good sounds

In the ambulance: his body
burned like a cigarette butt,
his head cracked like an egg. temporal mix-up? his head probably cracked, then burned, then made it into the ambulance? unless you intend to use -ed participles instead of simple past tense verbs, in which case there should be a comma after 'body' and 'cracked,' unless somehow these things are happening in the ambulance..

We scatter ashes on the dirt,
plant a new tree,
and October burns. i like the last line; it lets the reader chew on the title more

Probably going to change the last line tonight, but the title will likely remain.

thanks for posting